Unload

Look into my eyes!
Get dazed, confused, entranced
By cruel magic of my goodness,
The selfish cover so well faked.
Become my slave, fall to your knees
In suffocating agony of adulation.
Find every possible, disgusting way to please,
In eyes of this forsaken world, God's pitiful creation.
Hang on a cross for me a bit.
Find out how the rusting nails feel,
All human anger, lust and spittle
The laughing crowd manages to deal.
Look into my eyes!
You'll find there nothing but contempt
And tired emptyness,
An undelivered message. Just pretend
To show interest instead
And fill me with some old soul for the road,
Some pride and self-respect,
When into the night my life I will unload.
The end...

Weapons of intellect

Definitely, maybe,
I am sure, I don't know,
Don't bother, accept me,
I am full, I am still hollow.
Decisions, corrections
With muddy precision
Of stale affections
Despise and ignore me
But I'm aunaffected.
Lost in confusion
With major contusion to my intellect
The world and its drama I somewhat neglect.
Its spittle and glory,
The coldness of stares
Filledwith fake worries
And self-adulation
That such would entail.
I'm grasping for rails
Then slip and fall down
In a shaky embrace of ignorant crowd.
I feel desecrated but still I am proud,
Bent and exhausted, the pain roaring loud.
A tear snakes its way down, painting wrinkles
On a face with eyes shut. Love, bring us
To the end of this exhile!
We tried for a while
But now its done.
Like a firing gun
The ammo depleted, feelings are spent
The life at its ending I'll always regret.

Kisses painted with regretful smiles

A kiss, a smile, a regret.

One face that I will not forget
Amidst an ocean of mistakes.
Within the body of eternal lies i've made
It dawns on me like dying sun
Replaced by night when day is gone.
It mocks me - bitter, smiling globe.
My face feels doused will electrodes.
The shock makes eyes cry tears
And turn them into shameful, mindless fears.
I fall and break my knees.
Wherever my head lands I'll plead
For one last kiss,
For one last hope,
For smile. But all I get is spiral slope
That takes me down to basics.
My instinct trapped in cluttered spaces,
My life is praying for a chance.
But mind just sees an endless dance
Of kisses, smiles. And regrets
Continue filling weakend heart with loss.
I've grown out of this universe,
I'm done.
The thought keeps turning,
Nauseating vertgo in shining blackness of a gun...

Ego

Argh! Pain runs through veins
Like crazy vines that reign
And reel me in without escape!
A dark and mindless escapade,
A rhythm of sick existence
Beats, pleads for pestilence.
Life besides the human soul
Aside the human drama gone AWOL.
Stump on the faces that cry to you!
Smash the lips that try to kiss you!
Spit in the eyes of their trust!
Promote sweet, salivating disgust!
Die like a useless rat!
I hope you burn, I won't fret.
I hope you'd disappear.
Your smell of sadness I won't hear.
And when you are gone
I'd feel temptation of a gun,
Its loving, gentle touch
Against a hairless, sweaty patch.
The strength to resist I let go
As I search, crave, grovel for my ego!
And when I'll find you-it at last
Argh! The pain I'd feel like flashback from the past...